Waiting

I use to have all the patience in the world. Stuck in traffic, no big deal, meant to be delayed. Waiting in line at the store, no big deal. I actually remember a day that my son went with me to get groceries. The lady in line in front of us was having some sort of issue with her transaction. We probably stood there 20 minutes waiting. He was trying to get me to get in another line and I said no, that's okay, we can wait. When I think about the old me I can't help but laugh but it makes me a little sad too. I liked the patient me. Sometimes I wonder how I had patience before.

So Tuesday I went to see my primary doctor because I believe I am having some anxiety issues. Having heart palpitations. So as we are talking about what's going on that might be causing anxiety I said mostly the whole melanoma thing. He started reviewing the results from the biopsy (so glad I brought the copy I had because he still hadn't received it) and he asked if I was on Interferon. No. Hmmm. Then he asked if they have done lymph node biopsies. No. Hmmmmm. He asked if they have done any blood work. No. Hmmmmm. He said he wants me to get a second opinion. Wanted blood work before we decide on the anxiety thing so I had blood drawn. He had the nurse call Kansas City Cancer Center about getting me in for that second opinion. She called them, left a message. They called her back and wanted a copy of my biopsy and surgery. She called me back to confirm where I had that done. She called me back again, said they would not release my info without a signed consent. Keep in mind that they had sent him some of my records as every time I go in for an appointment with them I always say please make sure to send my primary a copy of my records which they always say they will. He did have some records from them but not the "big" ones. So I told her to fax me the form and I would sign it and fax it right back. That was the last I heard. I keep reminding myself that he did say that they may not feel I need a second opinion. That it will take some time for someone to read those 2 pieces of paper to know whether I should come in. My inner voice says wait. It will come. Breathe. Loosen your grip on your phone. Don't freak out every time it vibrates.
If I don't hear from them by the time they call with the results from the blood work I will ask them if they have heard anything.