The old me.....passive, quiet, c'est la vie, water on a ducks back. Always, it will be okay. What ever happens happens. Not much of anything ever bothered me unless it had to do with my family or friends (don't mess with my family or friends!). always willing to take the back seat to everyone and everything.
The new me? Aggressive. Standing strong. Stand my ground. It's time for me to take the wheel!!! This is MY life! You are not a victim if you just stand by idly watching what happens. You have a voice, use it! You matter!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have heard several people talk about having to be your own advocate. Heard the words and thought, true, but don't think it really sunk in. Today it hit me and hard!! If you don't stand up for yourself who else will?!?!? You can't just sit back and watch life pass you by and then wonder what the heck happened. And beating yourself up won't do any good either. What's done is done. but what happens next.....that is up to YOU!!!!!
Be present!!!! Be accountable!!!! Wonder if there are people that won't like the new found you?? Too bad!! You don't need them or want them in your life. Things happen and we change. If people don't like how you change or what changed you then they were not true to you. When you think about un-cluttering your life it should be in all aspects. Not just getting rid of some old clothes that don't fit you any more. Get rid of all the rift raft. (if you are reading this and wondering, is she talking about me? the answer is no)
The old me was happy sitting in the bleachers watching. The new me is in it!!!! I will play an active role in MY life! I think I had a hard time adjusting to that at first. I need to be important but I have never made myself important. I can't afford to be on the back burner anymore.
So, I started writing that yesterday.......I know everyone has dreams when they sleep right, or so I have heard. It is rare that I ever remember having a dream. This morning at 3am I was woke from a dream. I have slept through severe storms so for me to wake up from this was pretty shocking to my system. In this dream I was in a hospital. Not sure why or where but I was alone. Just me, doctors and nurses. No one was talking to me. They were going about their business. Putting an IV in my arm. That's what woke me up. I laid in bed for a bit wondering if I was going to get back to sleep. Luckily, I think, I was able to go back to sleep but only to have the dream continue. The IV came out and the nurse seemed angry at me for it. She tied 3 bands on my arm to try and get a vein and then walked off. My arm was turning purple and blue! Another nurse came over and had to cut the bands off. They got another IV started in the other arm. I was wondering around this hospital with my IV pole, white room after white room. I didn't know anyone. No one spoke to me. Then good news. They said my husband, my sister and her husband were going to come pick me up for an outing. I had to take the IV with me but I could get out of those white rooms. They picked me up and we went to a park. My husband and my sister's husband started drinking beer. What??????????? That's all I could think. I have been "locked" in this hospital for I don't know how long and all you guys want to do is drink??? And who the heck is going to drive us back to the hospital?????
Does it have anything to do with this blog? Some may think yes. Some may think no. Me, I am unsure. I just know I am a VERY sound sleeper and I very rarely remember having any dreams at all.
So as I was typing this morning on the radio......LEAN ON ME, WHEN YOU'RE NOT STRONG!!!! I'LL BE YOUR FRIEND, I'LL HELP YOU CARRY ON!!!!
What a blessing!